The other SLAyers were legit. Not gunna lie, i made some lifelong friends out of them. Let's just say that Ashleigh and i were both otters, and that makes my heart so happy:) She was definitely meant to live in texas one day so we can be bestfriends.
The staffers were amazing too; David opened my eyes and helped me see that every conversation, every action, every moment should be given to Christ. Never have i met a person who is more deep, more loving, or more passionate for the Lord. He is such an inspiration to me.
As well as Megan. She wasn't even affiliated with the camp, yet she managed to have an impact on me. that's how much of a light for Christ she is. When i heard the verse about being a "city on a hill" today, i thought immediately of her. How open she is to new people and how positive she is. I miss these people more than i can say.
And my little brothers: eric, javontae, kenneth, and camren. Jada and Mika too. I miss those kids. They came from harsh backgrounds; family lives that weren't the best, rough parts of town, discouragement around every corner. Yet they still managed to bright joy to my days at camp. They loved so freely and just wanted someone to give them time. If i could i would still be with them at PTM, letting them know they are loved and treasured.
i grew so much in my relationship with Christ as well. those two weeks held a lot of knowledge to be gained for me, and a lot of realizations that had to take place. I am a prideful person, and i have to daily ask to be brought to my knees. Asking for humility is one of the hardest prayers i have ever prayed. I am literally asking the Lord of the universe to wreck my world and make me as small as i can be so i have nowhere to go but to Him. That scares me. But my trust is in the Lord.
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
-Romans 12:1-2This verse tells me to humble myself before my God. To stand up for Him, to pursue Him. but also, something that becuase of my pride, stands as my biggest challengs. and that is sacrifice. It was a theme at fuge: surrendering your life to Christ. To give Him everything: good, bad, plans, desires, hopes, and goals. I'm a planner. I know what i want with my life. i say i live for God, yet i go about my day with my pride saying i know whats best for me and what im doing with my life. If i truely surrender then it will no longer start with the word "i". it will be "God is telling me to do this." or "God is leading me here". I dont listen. the words sound fine, "i surrender all," but when push comes to shove, do i actually give over every single fiber of my being?
It has to be more than words. I have to live it. Thats the hardest part. so hold me accountable. keep me to a higher standard.
Lord. because You love me and created me, You know what's best for me. I want to serve and trust You from here on. Take my life.
That's my prayer today. I want my life to be a living sacrifice. Holy and pleasing to God. He is good. He is my stronghold. He loves me with an everlasting love despite my fears and failures and stupid selfish decisions. He has a plan for my life that puts mine to shame. I can't wait to find out what it is. I just know that i want to run after Him and never look back.
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