My Heart Cries Out

quality. the feelings of my heart. found this in the book, In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day. my heart cries out these words to my Heavenly Daddy, and I believe they are all beautiful to Him.

How Shall I Pray?

How shall I pray?

Are tears prayers, Lord?

Are screams prayers,

or groans

or sighs

or curses?

Can trembling hands be lifted to you,

or clenched fists

or the cold sweat that trickles down my back

or the cramps that know my stomach?

Will you accept my prayers, Lord,

my real prayers,

rooted in the muck and mud and rock of my life,

and not just the pretty, cut-flower, gracefully-arranged

bouquet of words?

Will you accept me, Lord,

as I really am,

messed up mixture of glory and grime?

Lord, Help me!

Help me to trust that you do accept me as I am,

that I may be done with self-condemnation

and self-pity

and accept myself

Help me to accept you as you are, Lord:

mysterious,

hidden,

strange,

unknowable;

and yet to trust

that your madness is wiser

than my timid, self-seeking sanities,

and nothing that you've ever done

has really been possible,

so I may dare to be a little mad, too.

Ted Loder, "How Shall I Pray?" Guerrillas of Grace: Prayers for the Battle (1984)