where i find it all

it is nothing i do. i am too weak to carry my burdens on my own. my pride is too big for me to be a servant. i am not strong enough to have an ever lasting smile. i am too wretched to save myself. but His grace will lighten my step, His humility will break me, His love will bring me joy, His sacrifice has brought me redemption. i can rest in His unrelenting love, that daily teaches and brings renewal. i can cast all my burdens at Him, because my God is big enough to take them on His shoulders and still carry me in His hand.

at camp we sang a gorgeous song called We Give It All. the only part we remember is the chorus. i was in a rut trying to remember the verses to share, but then i realized i am singing for an audience of one. the perfection of the verses doesnt matter, just the heart behind them. so my prayer tonight is a song delivered on my knees.

these earthly plans

and these selfish dreams

my guilty hands

and my thoughts unseen

my fear of failure

that ties me to this land

i give it all to You

i give it all to You

i give it all

i give it all to You

my wicked pride

my broken heart

the enemy's lies

that tear us apart

this world is fading

and all i am is Yours

i give it all to You

i give it all to You

i give it all

I give it all to You

my hope. my faith. a joy carried by Your name.

my peace. my strength. a grace that alone can save.

i find it all in You

i find it all in You

i find my all

i find my all in You.

Christ Is Risen

nobody can stand unmoved by this video. the song alone is powerful. the words this man speaks with such conviction and passion however...that is what the church should look like.

Fellowship of the Unashamed

I am a part of the fellowship of the Unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit's

Power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has

been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow

down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense,

and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight

walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions,

mundane talking, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or

popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised,

regarded, or rewarded. I now live by presence, learn by faith, love by

patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.

My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my

way is rough, my companions few, my Guide is reliable, my mission is clear.

I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted,

or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the

presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the

pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of

mediocrity.

I won't give up, back up, let up, or shut up until I've preached up, prayed

up, paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ. I am a

disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until He returns, give until I drop,

preach until all know, and work until He comes.

And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My

colors will be clear for "I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the

power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.." (Romans 1:16)

By Dr. Bob Moorehead

broken into beauty

for You and You alone, awake my soul, awake my soul and sing. my Heavenly Daddy opened my eyes and awakened my soul over the past 15 days at NorthBay. one amazing thing about my God is that He never gives up. even on the most prideful and ignorant of children. even on those who refuse to quiet themselves enough to listen. He still chases after my heart. He breaks me down and shows me His face. when i am weak and needy, He reminds me of His beauty.

first eye opener: God showed me His hatred for my pride. dejavu- haven't we had this lesson before? yeah, time and time again i believe i overcome my pride. (feel free to scoff at that sentence). the Lord, in His lovingkindness never leaves me on the pedestal i place myself on. He uses others to knock me down into the dust. but if anyone can make beautiful things out of dust, it's my God. i am too quick to plan my life around my own dreams and selfish ambitions. i do things for the hope of getting noticed. i pray that others will see the goodness in me and be inspired. what a wretch i am.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4.

sucker punch to the heart. at summer staff i was placed at the snack bar, a job that requires making about 100 milkshakes a day but not being seen by kids. i was not in a position to be made their favorite staffer, i wasn't going to be nominated as the person who impacted their camp experience in any way. i was the often times faceless girl who made baller milkshakes and quippy remarks. it was so hard for me to find a way to show Christ through that. i thought that since my job seemed so insignificant that i was useless.-a big hit to the girl who thinks she has it all together. God slapped me in the face with His love. working at this camp wasn't about me. it had nothing to do with the number of kids i wanted to love me, nothing to do with the fact that i had expectations coming in. being at this camp was about serving. i always place myself as a leader-the one in charge. but my friend Andrew made an amazing comment that really stuck with me. "we place ourselves above these kids as leaders. but our real job is to serve. to put ourselves lower and ask what we can do for them. it's not about us anymore." yeah...kinda blew my mind too. so my pride was broken in a big way those two weeks. i stopped looking at my job as a stepping stone for me getting in the spotlight and started seeing it as a way i could serve others. God blessed me with opportunities to give without others knowing and to work without being thanked. it was difficult at first and then the beauty of it swept me off my feet.

the Lord also ripped down the cement walls around my heart. my pride makes me want to hide my struggles so others will think i have it all together. weakness in myself is something i dont deal well with. He broke me emotionally and physically those two weeks. i was asked to be apart of something called "Real Life." basically i got to sit in front of about 600 middle school campers and tell them all about my life in junior high. about how hypocritical i was. i got to share the precious activities i was a part of: gossiping, people pleasing, and shamefully hiding who i was. for the first time i told people how i have always felt so opposite of my family. not that it's a bad thing, but my pride makes that so hard to admit. i was forced during Real Life to see how different i am than others in my life and how although its not always easy, it's such a beautiful thing. uniqueness is a gift from God. pushing my people pleasing habits aside, i got to embrace the fact that i struggle and have insecurities and dont have it all together. being real is extraordinarily and embarrassingly scary for me, but its also gloriously freeing. because of that, i started taking risks and confiding my whole testimony with the girls on summer staff. i told them of my shameful sins and the fakeness i once held so near. they loved me despite my former wickedness and identified with so much of my story. it's funny how satan will use lies such as "youre the only one to ever think that" and "youre alone in this sin" to keep up quiet about our struggles. however, the second someone steps up and shines light on their insecurities and flaws, satan runs and healing begins. with our common backgrounds in the open, we were able to love more deeply. someone just had to be vulnerable and speak up.

while this whole being real with 600 kids and new friends thing was going on- i also had to get extremely vulnerable with someone who i had just met and was hoping to hide my personal issues from. God was pushing me to lean on others with my health problems and fears. for a couple days i kept on blacking out, never all the way to fall down, but enough to where i was terrified. i dont like admitting fear. (once again, my problem of showing any weakness). luckily, a true friend came to my rescue. he didn't belittle my fears or run away when i took down my guard. he cared for me with more compassion and kindness than people i have known my whole life. it amazed me that i could be embraced with all my faults and failures so quickly by a new friend. having Brandon there truly eased my fears and for once i relied on someone else and trusted that they wouldnt judge me for not being perfect.

third lesson- God's plan will reign. He is in complete control. nothing i do can alter His plan, nothing will stop it from happening. i take confidence in this fact, as i walk into a hard decision. His path is so high above anything i can imagine. so its time for me to let go of my own preconceived notions of how my life will turn out. it's time to cast aside all complacency and doubts. i can take that leap of faith because my God is big enough to catch me. i will chase His will because it is perfect and right. He will never laugh at me for trying to follow Him. even if i fail or misread His will, my intentions are pure and His thoughts are higher. i choose to lay down my everything to sit at the feet of Christ and follow Him.

Capernaum showed me that nobody is beyond the grasp of God's love. i always wonder when i see this special needs ministry how much is actually getting through to them. when i saw my new friend Jamie (who has special needs) worshiping however, i knew without a doubt that he understood the unfailing love of our God. Jamie was on his knees, with tears pouring out his eyes, his hands lifted in complete surrender. that picture moved me more than anything those two weeks. Jamie's life is more complicated and difficult than mine. he sees more scorn and apathy by the rest of the world. yet he praises our Lord in such a genuine way that it cannot be ignored. God's love is so encompassing. are we showing everyone we can His grace and mercy? or are we stopping with the people who are most like us- those who we feel comfortable around? do we only witness to those we understand? i want to find Jesus in the streets, in the lowest of places, in the hardest of homes. i want to radiate Christ's love to all those i meet, not just those who will love me back. seeing how i overlook so many people broke me. God's love was not limited to the apostles, it was spread to the pharasees and the lame. it stretched to the servants and kings, to the prideful and the prostitutes. who am i to limit His grace?

Capernaum opened my eyes to the beauty of brokenness. in our most weakened states we rely on God all the more fully. God is in the business of redeeming the most tragic of situations and turning them into something glorious for His kingdom. so i beg You to take my pride, my walls, and my ridiculous earthly plans. take my heart, Lord, and wreck it for Your Kingdom's sake. use my weaknesses so that You can shine through them. let me be broken for Your beauty.

joy

there are some days when i just look at my life and see how blessed i am.

to be redeemed.

to have my sister as my best friend.

to have wicked awesome parents. no for real.

to have genuine people who care about me. for grins and giggles lets name a few:

margaret powell

megan stewart

david serrano

claren hudspeth

austin elms

...and thats just a few.

to have the opportunities ive been given:

to be a younglife leader

summer staff

to have the best snocone place in texas right down the road

to have a home in rockport

and for the joy that Christ brings in my life on the daily.

today is a day for celebration.

the Life-Giver

The first time i hear this passage was in a prayer over me. It was a prayer earnestly seeking boldness for the Kingdom. A prayer to encourage me to show others the life that is available in the one true Redeemer. in that prayer, i was shown something that would stay an inspiration: even a half of a year later.

The beauty of the promises for God's people sometimes catch me off guard. God is the ultimate Life-Giver. He brings joy where there was desolation. He brings peace where there was distress. His Word will always accomplish what He designs it to. He will not be denied.

"As the rain and the snow

come down from heaven,

and do not return to it

without watering the earth

and making it bud and flourish,

so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:

It will not return to me empty,

but will accomplish what I desire

and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

You will go out in joy

and be led forth in peace;

the mountains and hills

will burst into song before you,

and all the trees of the field

will clap their hands.

Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,

and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.

This will be for the LORD’s renown,

for an everlasting sign,

that will endure forever.”

Isaiah 55:10-13

My Savior satisfies. He works in the lowest of sinners. He justifies. He sanctifies. He uses those most unworthy for His glory. Nothing is beyond His reach. He blesses beyond my wildest imagination. In family and friends. In mentors and opportunities to serve. He brings lessons and inspiration, healing and growth. in Him is true freedom and grace. The abounding love flows without ceasing. Hallelujah. He will not be denied in bringing life.

the choice

He gives and takes away.

Still my heart will choose to say.

Lord blessed be Your name.

those simple lyrics are so true.

my Heavenly Daddy knows what's best.

He will give. He will take away when it's not right.

it hurts but it's His will.

so what am i going to do?

i'm making a conscious choice to still praise Him.

it takes effort.

but He is good through the small pits and falls.

He's good through the times of blessing and prosperity.

He's good during the storms and trails.

and He's good during the golden days.

Praise to His name alone.