spring-a tale of seasons

curled up with an open Bible in Starbucks, my normal hangout after prayer with my young life team, i can't stop thinking about seasons. this thought has been on my heart for the past week even though it's no new concept to me. every life has seasons, time of great hardships and times of relaxation, times of loneliness and times of overwhelming company. you know that feeling where you can't stop thinking of something, though, so you know it has to be from God because there's no way you'd still be thinking that thought a week later-especially if you're like me and have the attention span of a toddler? well there are two of those circling my head like little cartoon birds. the first is a question: if i knew the season i am in now, would i still go through everything i've been through in the past year and a half? the second is a thought that brings endless joy: i am in a very distinct and precious season right now. i am in spring.

let's go back to that first thought. it's a big one for me. i'm the type of person you know well, the one who always questions, always goes back and rethinks situations, who knows the perfect way to handle a problem after ive goofed it up and fumbled around awhile. im the girl who learns through mistakes and has to experience everything i can get my hands on. you think im kidding? ask my dad-who i always call for advice in the midst of a situation ive gotten myself into. ask my mom-who always hears me vent my problems and offers wisdom from every angle possible. ask my sister- who warns me and then watches me careen headfirst into trouble. this is my lifestyle. i can't help but wondering if it was worth it. some of the messes ive stumbled through are painful to think back on. some i can see the benefits of right away and others i'm still struggling to make sense of. Sunday morning had an answer so inspiring though that i cannot stop dwelling on it and speaking it to myself. the Truth is Romans 8:28-30. growing up in the church i've heard this bad boy about twenty times already, but Sunday brought new revelations that were balm to all my self-chosen situational injuries over the past years.

God spoke Truth to my heart clearer and louder and more precious than i've ever heard Him speak. i wrote it down exactly as i heard. this is what my Daddy said," I will use everything for your good, Madeline. those situations were not wasted. they caused you to seek Me more. they showed you My care, My provision, and My intimate knowledge of you. I am making you more like Jesus through all of this. I am at work. and I will finish what I started. I chose you, Madeline. Be confident of that. I am at work in you. I am using everything for your good, I have a plan."

so those hardships: the friend who had severe medical issues coupled with spiritual warfare that left me scared and anxious, the church that spoke their own truths that left me hurt and confused, the boy that i settled for that left me bitter and angry at myself, the organization i dreamed of that didn't work out leaving me embarrassed and let down, and the guy who left me feeling guilty and that i had wasted my time- my God is bigger than all of that. He is using every single instance for my own good to glorify Him. He is sanctifying me through it and drawing me closer to Him. so i am thankful for those experiences. for the times i have fallen accidentally and then blatantly chosen to fall-thank you Lord. it could have happened a different way, but Your plan is beautiful and i can't wait to see how you turn those messy situations and choices into something glorious. the thought brings me endless joy.

i'll be brief about thought two because let's be honest-if you've even read this far you're probably antsy for the conclusion. sorry, i know im longwinded but it's been forever since ive written. i just can't seem to stop and the coffee isnt helping. the long awaited thought-the season i am in right now is so unique. i am in a place where i have no stinking idea where God is leading me. i literally have to take my life at a day by day pace. i listen for what the Lord is telling me that day and i follow. i have no far reaching directions, no visible path im on. He knows and that's enough for me. i am called right now to spring- a time of renewal and joy. a time of seeing the small things-like beautiful weather, a text from a friend, time with my favorite sister- and finding complete happiness in them. i am ridiculously glad to have this time of obedience, of patience, because it demands that i trust Jesus for my everything. for my satisfaction, for my provision, and for my leadership. i absolutely love it. when else am i going to have this beautiful freedom? my God is so good.

now that ive thrown my whole life out there, i wrap up with this. go read Psalm 103. it's a shot of pure joy and thankfulness to the heart. find contentment in the fact that God is at work in our lives, putting the pieces together for our good and His glory. He is leading us in a beautiful journey, all we have to do is follow. enjoy the season.

fight for holiness.

fight.

i wrote this to myself for those moments when i feel like picking the world over Jesus. i know that my parents are probably the only people reading this blog-but if someone needs to know that there are people fighting on their side, if someone needs inspiration to keep going, if someone needs encouragement to pick Jesus- i have faith that they will find this. Jesus can and will use anything for His glory. im praying this is used to glorify Him in my own life and hopefully can be helpful to my brothers and sisters. because we were meant for more.

Madeline Randa Harper.

do not be a selfish idiot.

you were created for so much better. why are you settling for the world when you can have Jesus? you will never make it to the milestone if you can’t make it through this moment. so be strong. be a warrior. and fight it. say no. let Christ be your strength and your source of holy power. you have His Spirit in you. cling to it. FIGHT.

if you live in sin you will miss the life God has planned for you. stop acting like this world is your home. you are a daughter of the King. you are His. you were meant for something greater than settling. do not let anything tell you any differently.

think of Claren. what would she say?

“for every temptation, God has provided a way out. you are weak, but He is strong.”

think of Alana. what do you tell her?

“you are a new creation. the old has gone-the new has come.”

think of Amanda. think of every girl at Rudder.

you tell them that Jesus is worth more than their vices. do NOT be a hypocrite.

think of Jesus Christ. of you Heavenly Daddy.

He is holy. He is sanctifying you. trust Him. He is faithful.

do NOT break. beat this moment. for them. for you. but above all-for your Savior.

His grace has made you whiter than snow. His love covers your inadequacies. be still and know He is fighting for your heart. in this moment, He is telling you to choose Him.

so be who you are meant to be:

a daughter of the King.

strong

faithful

a warrior

accountable

obedient

do not settle. cling to Him.

you are more than this moment.

a

purpose

i had a beautiful revelation this morning:

being single is a gift that i dont want to take for granted.

i get to pour into and be poured into by one Groom

i have no stress of finding "the one" because He is better than any one here

i trust that He will take care of me and sustain me, giving me exactly what i need when i need it.

right now i dont need any significant guy besides my God, my daddy, and my brother.

someone once told me that you meet the people you love the most when you are doing what you most love. so on the days when i give Jesus my all, on the days when i am worshiping, on the days when i am living most like Christ-i know thats a day when ill meet those people who will impact my life the most. so ill focus on those and leave the daydreaming of mr. right to the chickflicks.

boyfriends are so overrated anyways. i just want Jesus.

the battle of Truth

i wrote this on the way home the other night. i've been thinking about reading it at a Young Life club. i'm not sure yet, it still needs a lot of prayer and work. but i was convicted of us not fighting hard enough for these kids lives. this is a war. are we doing our part? am i brave enough to risk it all for Him? my God is worth the courage.

The Battle of Truth:

here we are suited up in our toughest armor

going to battle for the sake of the souls

where the world sees smiles

we see God shaped holes

so what do we do?

we shout of a love sent straight for the whore,

for the liar for the cheater and the thief,

for the hypocrite and even the good girl.

i’m sick of satan speaking lies through media

telling the youth they’ll never be enough

you aren’t pretty enough, aren’t skinny enough

you aren’t funny enough, brave enough,

strong enough smart enough.

enough of the lies.

i’m tired of girls thinking sex is the only way to gain true respect

and i’m tired of boys hearing trophies are the only way to lasting glory

there sits satan on the sidelines,

telling you the answer is more,

always more. more likes, more views, more lust,

more gossip and hatred and anger

and so goes on the endless abuse.

we use our friends as mirrors and our apathy as disguises.

you get your views from the world even though its selling your soul

for the price of fake happiness is destructively high.

the love of your Savior gets ridiculously reduced

to a nice quiet guy telling relative truth.

so you want the truth?

my God is king.

and He wont sit by quietly watching while His children are destroyed.

oh no. this is battle.

He sent the great warrior to make you His bride,

not mindless helpless cattle led astray by this world.

so walk down the aisle

say yes to a love that puts sin to death so our actions could rest

and our broken hears can smile.

just walk down that aisle.

we were hopeless and yet He walked in to this mess.

He conquered the enemy and restored our vitality. in Him.

so the battle has a victor. He’s just collecting His prize

to take up the armor with Him at their side

and to finally become the beloved bride.

the price is amazing, you can get this for free,

if you just place your trust in the One

who paid it for you at Calvary.

living on the bright side

it's time to rid my life of negativity and fill it with positive thinking, uplifting people, and encouragement.

away with any comparison that isn't me to Christ.

out with doubts and crippling insecurities.

i will walk with confidence and strength.

let grace flow in and hope soar out.

the dreamer lifestyle will never be so in style.

giving will never cease.

beauty will be a way of life.

compassion will propel me and joy will be the song of my heart.

there will be no fear of making mistakes, but a glorious freedom.

the world will not define the free spirits.

creativity will be embraced as well as laughter and spontaneity.

and i will always find myself in Him.

while im waiting

Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near. James 5:7-8

so encouraged by these verses this morning. He will bring the rain, He will bring the harvest. He will uplift and sustain me. I will be with Him soon, so I can give Him my all now, so that when I meet Him on that Glorious Day, I will have nothing left. I will tell Him that I gave every last ounce of strength, of time, of money and effort until I had nothing more to give. I will tell Him that as i waited, I ran until my knees gave and then i picked back up and kept on running. as i waited, i praised until my voice gave out and then i kept on singing. I surrendered all i had, knowing it wasn't mine to begin with. i trusted Him with everything and kept nothing as my own, for i am nothing without Him. as i waited, i planted the seeds, i watched for rain, i sowed the crops until the last second He called me home.

and He was worth every thing.